When Things Don't Go Your Way

How do you deal with disappointment?  There are certainly varying levels of disappointment and many approaches to dealing with it.

Most recently, I have experienced disappointment in a friend, disappointment in some of my dreams not coming to fruition and disappointment in my health.  What's a girl to do at a time like this?

First of all, lets put it all in perspective, after all, life is all about balance, right?   Taken individually each of these disappointments is quite manageable.  Taken together, however, the cumulative effect can make life feel a bit overwhelming.   I believe that our attitude in dealing with the small stuff plays an important role in how we deal with the big stuff or the cumulative stuff.

Sure, we may all want to hide under the covers at times and we may want to feel sorry for ourselves.  Both of these scenarios serves a purpose.  But how long can you stay under the covers and how long can you truly feel sorry for yourself without saying "enough already".   My tolerance threshold for this is very slim before I say, "pick yourself up and return to life".  So, what do I do?  

I have created rituals in my life so that I am better able to manage the disappointments of life.  I wake in the morning and immediately acknowledge all that I am grateful for.  I choose to view life from a place of abundance instead of a place of deprivation.  I choose to return to trust at times when my faith is lacking.  I choose to see everyone as human and on our own journeys so as not to place unrealistic expectations on others or myself.   I choose love.

As you can see, it's all about choice.  I can choose to feel disappointed in a friend who has hurt me or I can feel compassion for her as she is on her own journey.   I can feel disappointment in myself for the fear that may be holding me back from fulfilling a dream or I can hold my heart in a sacred place and nurture confidence in myself.   I can berate myself for the injury that I incurred from pushing too hard or I can see it as a message and a gift to slow down in life.   Our circumstances are not always our choice, but the way we handle them is.

The next time you experience something that doesn't go your way (and you will), make a game out of it and challenge yourself to see the lesson in it.  Come from a place of love in your reaction to it.  See other people in their humanness, as you are living life in yours... making mistakes and learning and "doing the best we all can".  And, if you need to hide under the covers for a bit, go ahead.  So long as when you come out you choose to feel gratitude for the light.

Suzanne Nicklas, RN, E-RYT, HHC, is founder of Shanti Yoga Studio in Troy, NY and is a Registered Nurse, Registered Yoga Teacher and Holistic Health Coach.  She holds workshops on wellness and stress management and also offers corporate classes and workshops.  You may contact her at suzannenick4@hotmail.com or through Pink Lotus Wellness, at www.suzannenicklas.com